Now we wait again...

Not much new to report. The nurse called Monday to make sure that I knew to call right away if I had any bleeding. She didn't come out and say it, but I would suspect that is for fear of ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage. So far though I have not had any spotting since March 20th which was before my HCG tests so I would suspect implantation was the cause.

Now the only thing that is concerning me is that on occasion I'll have slight pains in my lower abdomen around the area of my left ovary it will be sharp and then quickly pass. It's mostly in the evening or if I turn a wrong way. It seems pretty "normal" from what I have been reading. It's nothing debilitating and certainly not constant it just makes me worry a bit... But, really I just think things are re-arranging themselves down there...

April 12th is the ultrasound I'm both excited and dreading it at the same time. Dreading it because I can't help but think we could get bad news. Excited because we may see something really great. Honestly, I think that it's normal for those in early pregnancy to feel that they are just one moment away from bad news. It's so hard not knowing what's going on in there, and whether or not to guard your feelings because you don't want to get hurt.

Great news today...

I went in to have labs drawn again the results were really good hcg level @ 153 or something I was so excited all a heard was 150 something and was jumping up and down...lol...

Please pray the pharmacy comes through with my prjesterone injection I ordered it to come yesterday and it's still not here...

Not such good news today...

Today I went in for my second Beta. It went up but did not double...

I'm so disspointed I know that this may not mean the end. I go back for another Beta on Saturday...I can only hope it goes up & doubles. To somewhere around 150...

All of this is so nerve wracking...I just want know...I think I could handle any result, but this middle of the road is hard...

So this is what one of these looks like...

This morning I could not resist the urge to take a test. I did and this is what I saw. This is not my actual test, but this is exactly the kind I took. I ran right in to the bedroom and had Todd read it for himself...I was so excited.

I went in had blood drawn for my Beta. I told the lab tech that I wanted big, big numbers :)

I'll let you know what I hear later today.

This just in...

Beta...48.6 I'm right on track slightly below average of 50. Now we it need to double when I go back Thursday morning.

Shopping, Spotting, Praying & Hoping...

This weekend a group of 4 of my long time friends and I went shopping. It was a nice day. It still is really hard to spend tons of time with them since they are all at another place than I. Between them there are 9 kids, and I find it hard to relate to them. I know they care and that they want me to be part of their "Mommy" club, but I'm just not..yet... We'll have a much better idea tomorrow.

At our last stop on the shopping trip I went to bathroom and noticed a bit a of brown spotting. Needless to say I made me worry a lot. I couldn't hold back the tears when I was telling Todd. I know that it could all be ok and just a side effect of the progesterone and not hydrating enough on Saturday. Even so, that is usually how my period starts, so it is very scary.

Later Saturday night we went to a fundraising service for my friends Dave & Heather who have been called to adopt a little girl. You can check out their website at http://projectfindher.org/drupal-7.0/ .

After the service our pastor prayed with us about our issues and returned my hope in the tests Tuesday. It's just so hard...not knowing. The waiting is awful. It's so easy to loose hope when nothing seems different except something that could be a bad sign.

The Beta is tomorrow.

Also, as suspected my blog friend Jen's beta was negative. Please pray for God's comfort and peace to be with her as she is now even more confused about what God has planned for her and her husband.

While I'm Waiting...

This waiting I'm not going to lie is difficult. To this point I have resisted doing any home pregnancy tests. I hope to stay that way. At this point I would just like to know "for sure" so I'll wait till the Beta on Tuesday, but part of me does want that experience of seeing that BFP at home.

So far I don't feel any "different" I may have been feeling some slight twinges and such, but that may just me my intestines trying to "re-align" themselves after my tummy issues from last week.

So here I am still waiting. Please give some love to fellow blogger Jen who is going in for her beta today. She has done a few HPT's and the have been negative, so she is discouraged.

"I'm hoping for the best for you Jen"

While I'm Waiting-John Waller

2 Embryos Transfered...none frozen...

On Friday we transfered 2 excellent 11 & 10 cell, 3 day embryo's. The transfer went very well and the progesterone in oil shots have been going OK. I am finally well after some stomach issues. Yesterday my ovaries were still hurting when I would get up from or lay/sit down. Today that seems much better. I'm much less bloated and achy as well.

The lab called and the remaining 3 embryos were not of a good quality to freeze.

Honestly, in some ways it was a relief because after this cycle we will have to change clinic's since UW will be out of network. On the other hand it makes me worry about the ones we transfered. I'll just keep praying that they like my uterus better than a lab. Right?

I went to a closing ceremony for walk to Emmaus #125. I had went on the walk last November and it was such a blessing to relive apart of what I felt there. If you are interested in more information on walk to Emmaus check out the web site or ask me. It was a life changing event for me. Since, my walk I have never felt so loved & at peace in my life.

On the ride over I went with some of my great Sunday School "family" and Matt was joking around about how we hopefully had Klingons on board get it cling-on's. I can only hope.

We'll know one way or the other on the 22nd. It's going to be really hard not to do a HPT this coming weekend.

There is still hopes of doing other cycles at another Dr. if this doesn't work out.

Embryo transfer day...

Today is embryo transfer day at 2pm.

At this point I'm thinking that we will transfer 2, but we'll see what the Dr. says today. Just think this time tomorrow I'll be "pregnant" until proven otherwise.

I have been feeling really ucky these last few days with a stomach ache, ect... Hopefully, that keeps getting better.

18 "Beautiful" eggs...

The retreival was today... I'm feeliing pretty good I'm not going to lie when I move it hurts. I don't think I'll be at work tomrrow.

They we able to find 18 eggs before we left. They will call tommrow to let us know how many fertlized, and if they expect to do a 3 or 5 day transfer.

Getting closer to the end...

Last night Todd gave me HCG trigger shot...

Today is my no shot day. It felt odd not to give myself a shot of Lupron this morning. Tommrow we will start the progesterone shots that with any luck I'll be taking for several more weeks (because I'm pregnant) :)...

We will be going in for our retrieval on Tuesday at 8:30am. Saturday there are still lots of follicles & a good amount were above 14mm so, I would think that we will have lots to work with.

I'm still drinking lots of water and Gatorade in the hope that hyper-stimulation does not set in.

We are hoping for a 5 day transfer, but that really depends on the embryos. If we are able to transfer at 5 days it would be Sunday that we would do the transfer otherwise it would be Friday.

Friday's update...

We went in for another US and blood work today. We got there a bit early but they were able to get us right in.

I had a different Dr. today. I don't think she was a proficient as my regular Dr. None the less I still have lots of follicles. The largest ones are measuring at 17-18mm. The majority are at about 13 or so. I think that I'll be going back tomorrow, but I have to wait till the nurse calls back. It's possible that I take the HCG shot as early as Sunday and have the retrieval Monday. But, like I said before we'll see after the blood work comes back and the nurse calls.

I'll keep you posted.

Update...

Went back up today. About 14 follicles were measuring at 10-13 mm.

They reduced my follistim to 50 IU and I'll be going back on Friday.

Other than that not much new to report.