You'll always have enough...

Matthew 14:20 (The Message)

^18-21Jesus said, "Bring them here." Then he had the people sit on the grass. He took the five loaves and two fish, lifted his face to heaven in prayer, blessed, broke, and gave the bread to the disciples. The disciples then gave the food to the congregation. They all ate their fill. They gathered twelve baskets of leftovers. About five thousand were fed.

Last night I was called to remember that God provides "our daily bread" and no matter how little you have he will make every thing you need possible. When you need it. Which is the hard part. You may think you need...right now..., but our plans/ timing is most certainly second fiddle to what God has in store for me and you...

This is so true for Todd and I. When we were told about a year ago that IVF was really our only chance at having a biological child from the both of us. I knew that we did not have the funds in our bank account to afford such an expensive treatment...months went by...be thought about our options, like asking our family for a loan, restructuring our debts, and finally Todd talked with his work about cashing in vacation time.

I have to think that I may not have had my whole heart into stabbing my self each day with needles and having my "you know what's" examined, prodded, etc. had I not had all this heartache. It's the heartache that made me listen to God's calling out to me get to church...it will help you'll feel better while you are waiting... It's the heartache that has drawn me close to many others both in my "real" life and online that are going or have gone through the same struggles. It's because of this...I hope that I've been a positive influence on others...

After all of this... things have come together, we were able to restructure our debts & cash in some of Todd's vacation time. I can only imagine that God had his hand in all of this. After 4 years of being on this journey I finally feel like my "old self".

Even if this cycle does not work out I know that we have other options. Not that they will be easy. But there are options.

Given our odds for success by our Dr. and how this all came to be... I can only hope that we will get a BFP in a month and we will be starting a new chapter of Pregnancy and Parenthood.