Here were are in the midst of another Holiday season...
There are parties for hosting, cookies to be baked, a tree to be trimmed and gifts to be wrapped...
I have mentioned before that my feel about the Holidays are let's say muted...
This week has been quite a challenge with several "announcements"...it's so difficult to hear...just when you think that you are learning to accept you path...that darn doubt creeps in... with the thoughts of...
Will it ever be us...
Why are we not worthy of such a blessing...
and if this is part of God's Plan then why must it hurt so much... honestly at times I feel a physical aching in my chest...
I have faith that God does have great plans for me and some of them may possibly be being carried out right now...but, it's so hard to believe when you are hurting so much...
Especially when you see others not have to struggle in this way...why are they chosen for what seems like an easier path?
I hate to become clinical and without hope...I would suppose that we should be grateful that we have any hope at all...but, then sometimes it seem a bit a curse too... Like if is just knew there was not any chance...then we could move on...move on to what...I'm not sure...
I found this book and I plan to read it this coming year...
We'll see if it brings me anymore HOPE...
