Happy Birthday in Heaven...

2 years ago we said hello and goodbye to our sweet baby girl Eleanna.  Today we celebrate her second birthday in heaven.  It's hard not to look at the boys and think...would she have really red hair like Parker, or would she have cute curls like Jesse.  What cute outfits would she wear...what would she love to eat.  What funny things would she do?.I suppose some people think that it must be easier...now that the boys are here.  In some ways it is in others not so much.  Sometimes I just feel down right cheated...cheated out of her life...cheated out of her hugs...denied her giggles, but then I remember.  Those things were not meant to be.  She was meant for heaven no matter how much I dislike that...no matter how it makes me feel.  For certain God definitely had & has great plans for me.  That not to say it's easy...

My thought also go to our friends Mike and Teresa as they celebrate their precious girl Ayla's 2nd birthday today too.  They have Gracin to celebrate with them now and I am so happy.

Later this month we will get together with Mike and Teresa to celebrate our girls.  I can't wait...with the arrival of all our boys we have not been able to get together as much...

My Dearest Eleanna-

Each day I think of you.  I wonder what amazing things you do in heaven.  I know there are so many ther with you I bet you hardly miss us.  Your brothers are so strong and beautiful.  I know you must have had a hand in that.  I'm sure you look down on them and giggle.  They sure are some funny little guys.

Your roses in our garden are so bright and cheery.  I love to see them bloom.  

Enjoy your birthday in heaven sweet girl.  I wonder if Great Grandma Meiners will make you a cake?  Or maybe Great Grandpa Meiners will make you a kitchen cupboard to play with like he did for me.  Maybe Great Grandma Marsh and Curran will be there too...  Maybe Grandpa Marsh will take you to a park and push you in a swing...

I'm sure it will be wonderful, but I still want you here with me.

All my love, hogs & kisses,

Mommy

 

Sometimes I really wish there was an EASY button...

Seriously, this week has been crazy...

To start things off my Grandma who just a year ago was helping me with the boys and full of pep has taken a bad turn in the last few months.  It seems she had an un-diagnosed stroke, bleeding ulcer and swallowing issues.  She it almost 93.  She is in the nursing home re-couping from loss of blood due to ulcer and could use your prayers...  Hopefully she will make a good turn here with the extra care, but if it's not meant to be I just hope that she goes peacefully...


Then my husband hurt his foot at work this week and still has not found out if it is broken or what what's wrong because he is waiting to get approval for an MRI from work comp...ugh...so frustrating...

To top that all off Parker needs tubes due to his numerous ear infections and fluid build up.



Then this week for whatever reason I have been thinking a lot about Eleanna...my co-worker and I were talking about her daughters hair getting tangled at night and I was saying that my Mom used to put my hair in french braids at night during the summer.  Then all the sudden my hear sinks and I think...I'll never get to braid my little girls hair...  I'm not sure maybe it's because of Grandma's decline that I'm thinking about her more...Or maybe it's just a summer thing...Summer makes me think of her since that's when she was born.


On a brighter note our family bought a camper at a site on a lake and we have been relaxing there on the weekends.



It's been nice to just get away from the mess at the house and relax and push the boys in the stroller, take them swimming and such.

One Year Old...

http://homemadehappenings.blogspot.com/2012/05/introducing-jesse-parker.html

I can not believe it's been a year.

A year ago...

 I had only held the boys a hand full of times.

 I was getting rides from friends to the hospital because I couldn't dive myself yet.

 I still had not wrapped my head around how much m life was changing.

I spent every 2 hours pumping around the clock.

I did not know how long it would be before we brought the boys home.

I did not fully realize how hard being the Mom of twins is. I was in baby love.

I did not realize how much sleep we really got before.

I did not realize the bond you can make with perfect strangers in less than 60 days time.

However I did realize...

How incredibly blessed we were.

How much our extended family and friends love all of us.

How hard it is to have healthy children when others are not.


Today...

The Boys...

Bring me so much joy.

Are the cutest ever.  Of course I may be biased. :)

photos taken by Liz Foley Photography

are into EVERYTHING!

Crawling, Scooting and pulling themselves everywhere.

are two very different little people.

crack me up all the time.

are worth all the struggles.

make miss their sister even more.


This past weekend we had their Birthday party.  There were over 60 people there from all over.  Some even made a 5 hour drive to be there.  I hope that one day they can fully appreciate how many truly love them.  I am so blessed to be their Mom.

There is so much that I want to put in this post...

10 months old..where does the time go...

Parker and Jesse are 10 months old today...

 Jesse weighs about 18.5 lbs.  He is such a happy guy he still love sleeping in...I wish he would pass a bit of that trait on to Parker...  He scoots around but the big brute would rather just gab what he wants and drag it over to him.  Even his biggest toys...it's amazing how strong he is.  When he crawls he usually pushes backwards and does not like it when he gets stuck in a corner.  He loves eating, but is not so fond of the puffs or cookies.  Jesse has 2 teeth on the bottom and one on top.

As I am typing this Parker is crawling around, rolling his bumbo chair with him.  Parker has really been moving the last 6 weeks or so.  He army crawls and loves to stand up.  He also can sit unassisted which he mastered this week.  He just has 2 teeth on the bottom, one working it's way out on top.  I would guess that he weighs 16lbs now.  We went to our last pediatric cardiologist appointment and his & Jesse's vales are completely closed and will no longer need to see Dr. Shula. He is wearing 9 months clothes for the most part.  He love food.  At this point during the daytime hours he prefers food to bottles.   

We have also started to give them baths in the big tub.  The love"swimming" and kitck their legs like little fish.  They love splashing about.  They also are starting to make more sounds.  Dad seems to be a favorite of Jesse... The both are startign to make each other giggle.  The other day Parker was tickling Jesse and making him laugh.  So cute...

8 months old...

I can hardly believe it...eight months old.

Time has gone by so quickly.  This time last year I had just had my cerclage.  The boys were just little sea monkey's, whom by the way I was so certain were girls...

Now here they are growing up.  I suppose that this feeling will only get worse.  All too soon they will be Sr.'s in High School and eating me out of house and home.

Although they are trying to do that now...they eat anout 6-8 oz of milk per bottle now, and are eating baby foods 2 times per day.  They really like food and it has help a lot with the re-fulx.  Most days I don't have to change their outfits due to spit up that it a HUGE improvement.

Over Christmas they were both sick and had multiple blow out diapers...to tell you the truth our Christmas tree is still up so I can get a good picture of them in the Christmas jammies.  Hopefully this weekend. ***update***

I got the jammie picture :)

Jesse has on tooth and the other seems not far away Parker seems to be working on teeth too.

6 & 7 months...Time flies when you're learning fun things...

The boys have had a busy last 2 months.  We go to RMH for their NICU follow-up tomorrow, so I will update this post with their weights, but I would guess they are about 15 lbs.

***This just in Parker weighs 14lbs 3oz and Jesse weighs 15lbs 13oz...chunky monkey indeed...***

They started eating some solid foods at the end of October.  So far their favorite is sweet-potatoes.  I have made about half of their baby food.  It somehow seems more worth the time when you have 2.  They just eat their baby food in the evening before their last bottle.  So, it's more like an appetizer than a meal.  They eat about 6-8 oz per bottle these days.

They are still sleeping at night really well.  And they have started to nap better.  They usually take at least one long nap either in the morning or the afternoon, but very rarely both.  Parker does wake up early in the morning sometimes, but he seems to back the our "normal" schedule this week.  Jesse is our sleepy boy and we almost always have to wake him up in the morning.  Which is awesome.  He even wakes up happy when you get him up...even better.

The boys got to have the first expedition to "Deer Camp" where Todd showed them various antlers and what size were the one to shoot.

The Curran family had a shower for the boys and they received so many nice things.  They even got some ornaments and stocking with their names on them.

Parker & Jesse were baptized at our church Faith UMC on November 25th.  It was so nice to have so many of our family, friends and church family there.  Pastor John has been their for us throughout all our struggles and he also baptized Eleanna.  I'm sure that was a special day for him as well.

So far for the holidays they went to see Santa they did not cry.  I think they told him something about toys...

We also had super cute pictures taken of them by a high-school friend of mine Tamara Roach. They turned out so good.

Parker aka "cheeser" is all smiles these days and is a mover and shaker.  Sometimes, I just don't know how he does it, but hell move 3 feet from where you left him in like 2 seconds... He rolls both ways very well and loves his feet.   He's always kicking them, grabbing them, sticking them straight up in the air. He doesn't crawl yet, but he has his ways to get where he wants to go. He loves his toys, play-mat and bouncy seat.

Jesse is much more laid back.  He too is moving around a bit.  He'll roll over when he wants to.  He love to play on the play-mat.  He especially likes these little toys that you pull on and the shake when you let go.  He still is the one that laughs the most.  His giggle is contagious.  Of course every-time I try to get it on video he stops... 

Both boys are to a point where they like to know where the other on is.  Especially, when we are in a crowd.

I'll be back later to update what the NICU clinic has to say...

5 MONTHS

Parker & Jesse are 5 months old...holy cow.

Parker weighs about 12lbs. and is 23" long.  He can roll over from tummy to back.  Right now Parker is in LOVE with his burp rag.  He hugs it grabs it, and plays with it like it is the most awesome toy ever.  He also it smiling all the time.  He loves having his diaper changed.  He still sleeps all night.  Bedtime is now closer to 8pm or earlier if we can get them all in jammies, fed and down.  Parker is not much of napper still.  His reflux seems to be getting better, but he still spits up quite a bit.  Poor kid we call him names like, Slimey, super chucker, chuckeroni, etc...  Of course the way we say it makes smile...

Jesse weighs about 13.5lbs and is 23" long.  He can roll over from tummy to back.  Jesse loves to laugh.  He has this super cute belly laugh that I'm totally addicted to.  He loves having his diaper changed and that when he laughs the most.  Jesse sleeps all night.  The other night when I put him to be he was cooing and sighing as if to say..."thank you so much for putting me to bed, I love my beddy"...  Jesse will nap somedays pretty well others not so much.  Jesse eats like a chow hound and we call him names like Chunky monkey, super chunk, super cheeks... He looks so much like his Daddy he get's called mini me a lot too.

We went to the NICU reunion and saw our "roomie" Tinley.  She is so cute with her chubby cheeks.  It was amazing to see how may families were blessed with the RMH NICU's care.

That same day we also had the walk to remember and were able to take time to remember Eleanna.  We were able to share the day with Mike & Teresa, and think of Ayla too.  It was hard looking at the boys and knowing they would not be here if Eleanna was.  I know that God has it all figured out.  I feel so blessed to have the boys. I also feel so blessed to know Mike & Teresa.  All things are possible because of what God had planned for us.  Still being the human that I am it's hard to trust in him all the time.  But I'm learning.